AutoNation-State
Fletcher Jones cashes out of Fremont; the car lot becomes a foreclosed democracy diorama.
Panel of local voters peering through the chain-link fence at the newly rebranded AutoNation mega-dealership where the ‘City Hall’ wing has been traded in for ‘Finance & F&I,’ and zoning maps are stapled to glossy Porsche brochures. A tiny sign on the fence reads: “PUBLIC INTEREST – SEE DEALER FOR DETAILS.”
Source headline
The Presidio Group Exclusively Advised Fletcher Jones Automotive Group on the Sale of Porsche, Mercedes-Benz and Audi dealerships in Northern California to AutoNation
Around the Shallot
Stay in the same broken universe.
Forecasts, satire, cartoons, and quizzes should feel like one publication, not disconnected tabs.
Tech
DOGE Unveils ‘War UX 2.0’: U.S.–Iran Conflict To Be Managed Like A Buggy App Update
Department of Government Efficiency reassures public that if the ceasefire can’t be fixed, it can at least be A/B tested, monetized, and pushed to the cloud.
Jul 13
Forecast
By Mid‑August 2026, Iran Will Reopen Hormuz Oil Traffic
Iran says the Strait of Hormuz is shut until the U.S. leaves the neighborhood. Tanker traffic and mediators say something more boring: this is a price‑setting tantrum that ends in a technical deal, not a 90‑day blockade.
Jul 12
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