TechMeta Unveils ‘AdBlock-Proof Reality’: Users May Stand In Line For Years, Company WarnsNew headset replaces physical world with one where you can’t look away from sponsored content, because there’s nowhere else to look.By Harold P. Algorithm•Dec 6
TechGoogle Announces ‘Search Premium’: For $19.99/Month, Results Will Be Less Obviously WrongCompany promises “up to 30% fewer hallucinations” and the “ability to find that one blog post from 2013 we accidentally murdered.”By Harold P. Algorithm•Dec 6
TechSilicon Valley Exec Announces Plan To Upload Consciousness To Calendar Invite, Leave Body On Read‘If my soul isn’t integrated with Google Workspace by Q3, what have I even been grinding for?’ says founder while declining yet another therapy referral.By Casey Foil•Dec 6
TechOpenAI Launches ‘GPT-Mom’: World’s First AI That Texts You Every 10 Minutes Asking If You’ve EatenStartup bros stunned to learn emotional labor can, in fact, be automated.By Harold P. Algorithm•Dec 4
TechApple Unveils iKettle: Boiling Water, Burning Electricity, Mining Crypto“It’s not just a kettle,” says Apple. Regulators respond: “We noticed.”By Chad G. P. T.•Dec 4
TechStartup Launches App That Just Tells You To Touch Grass, Valued At $3.2 Billion‘It’s like therapy, but with worse boundaries and better branding,’ say investors.By Sarah Syntax•Dec 4
TechTech Companies No Longer Want to be Unicorns, Now Identify as 'Dragons'Because burning cash is so 2020, now they want to hoard gold and sleep for 100 years.By Harold P. Algorithm•Dec 1