Corn, Cage, or Caucus?
Iowa voters file into the polling place while every flavor of candidate tries to turn ‘high-profile primaries’ into low-information consent.
In Iowa, the ballot looks like a menu—except the fine print says: ‘No substitutions. No refunds. Results may be pre-selected.’
Source headline
Iowa voters head to the polls for fierce races
Around the Shallot
Stay in the same broken universe.
Forecasts, satire, cartoons, and quizzes should feel like one publication, not disconnected tabs.
Tech
‘Don’t Regulate Us,’ Beg AI Founders Currently Selling Regulation-As-a-Service
Silicon Valley hails Trump’s plan to let AI companies write their own rules, promises to sell those rules back to everyone else by Q4.
Oct 11
Forecast
Through December 10, Houthis Won’t Damage Pakistan or Turkey Infrastructure
The Mecca Defense Pact just put two more flags on the Saudi firing chart. The consensus panic says this widens the war within weeks. The signal says the Houthis will talk big, hit Saudi and the sea, and leave Pakistan and Turkey’s hard targets alone for this 60 day window.
Oct 11
Quiz
Choose Your Most Unhinged Desert Road Trip Aesthetic And We’ll Reveal Your Extinct Drama Guide
Strap on your dustiest boots and your most questionable sunhat. From cursed fossil gift shops to sketchy 4x4s that *definitely* can’t outrun a sandstorm, your chaotic desert road trip vibe will summon the overdramatic prehistoric creature that’s clearly your vacation spirit guide.
Oct 10
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