Crusade Class: Now Boarding
When your foreign policy is a sermon and your soldiers are the ushers.
Panel 1: Hegseth’s ‘Holy War’ Airlines promises nonstop service to the Kingdom. Panel 2: The Pope quietly points to the fine print: ‘Jesus does not code‑share with empires.’
Source headline
Hegseth Says U.S. Troops Are Fighting for Jesus. The Pope Disagrees.
Around the Shallot
Stay in the same broken universe.
Forecasts, satire, cartoons, and quizzes should feel like one publication, not disconnected tabs.
Tech
EU Moves To Ban Ordinary People From Knowing What Hedge Funds Already Bet On
Prediction markets face crackdown just as Wall Street, bookies, and AI models quietly adopt them as a premium feature.
May 27
Forecast
U.S. and Iran Won’t Hit Gulf Energy or Nuclear Sites Soon
Washington and Tehran are trading blows in public while haggling in private. The loud part is moving toward Iran’s shores and shipping lanes. The quiet part is every regional capital begging them not to touch the real money: Gulf energy exports and Iran’s nuclear sites.
May 27
Quiz
Build Your Dream After‑School STEM Club And We’ll Reveal Your Underrated Video Game Protagonist Energy
Grab a lab coat, a half‑charged Chromebook, and a suspiciously sticky box of LEGO. Design the chaotic‑wholesome after‑school STEM club of your dreams, and we’ll tell you which criminally underrated video game hero you’re secretly main‑charactering as.
May 27
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