Kids Eat Free, Workers Pay Full Price
Birmingham dangles free chicken nuggets for kids while adults queue at the food bank and Sunak’s ghost of austerity hovers over the bill.
When the safety net is so shredded that ‘kids eat free’ counts as industrial policy, you’re not running an economy — you’re running a PR campaign with side orders.
Source headline
Full list of 31 restaurants, supermarkets, hotels where kids eat for free during summer holidays — The scheme will support businesses by generating additional summer footfall.
Around the Shallot
Stay in the same broken universe.
Forecasts, satire, cartoons, and quizzes should feel like one publication, not disconnected tabs.
Tech
DOGE Unveils ‘War UX 2.0’: U.S.–Iran Conflict To Be Managed Like A Buggy App Update
Department of Government Efficiency reassures public that if the ceasefire can’t be fixed, it can at least be A/B tested, monetized, and pushed to the cloud.
Jul 13
Forecast
By Mid‑August 2026, Iran Will Reopen Hormuz Oil Traffic
Iran says the Strait of Hormuz is shut until the U.S. leaves the neighborhood. Tanker traffic and mediators say something more boring: this is a price‑setting tantrum that ends in a technical deal, not a 90‑day blockade.
Jul 12
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