Love, Actually (Terms and Conditions Apply)
IIT-Bombay’s DuoChat promises to fix your relationship with AI… because nothing says intimacy like adding a third wheel from the cloud.

A couple quietly screaming at each other while an AI ‘relationship coach’ happily optimizes engagement: finally, a startup that can monetize your last shred of privacy.
Source headline
IIT-Bombay Startup Infiheal Launches DuoChat, World’s First AI Relationship Coach
Around the Shallot
Stay in the same broken universe.
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Tech
DOGE Unveils ‘War UX 2.0’: U.S.–Iran Conflict To Be Managed Like A Buggy App Update
Department of Government Efficiency reassures public that if the ceasefire can’t be fixed, it can at least be A/B tested, monetized, and pushed to the cloud.
Jul 13

Forecast
By Mid‑August 2026, Iran Will Reopen Hormuz Oil Traffic
Iran says the Strait of Hormuz is shut until the U.S. leaves the neighborhood. Tanker traffic and mediators say something more boring: this is a price‑setting tantrum that ends in a technical deal, not a 90‑day blockade.
Jul 12

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