Magnifica Humanitas.exe
When Microsoft patches your soul before it patches Windows.
In the Vatican’s new app store, salvation is freemium and your conscience is in-app purchases.
Source headline
Microsoft’s AI Boss Welcomes Pope’s Magnifica Humanitas
Around the Shallot
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Tech
Markets Declare ‘Forever Peace’ After Trump Says He Calls The Shots
Tech investors reassure themselves that a ceasefire measured in hours is basically a blue-chip dividend, as Trump announces he is also the Federal Reserve and the Middle East.
Jun 9
Forecast
Apple Stock Won’t Finish Siri AI Week 5 Percent Higher
The Street just watched Apple promise a whole new brain for 2.5 billion devices, then quietly sell the news. That is not the setup for a one‑week melt‑up. It is the start of a long, slow credibility test.
Jun 9
Quiz
Design Your Chaotic Dream World Cup Fan Trip And We’ll Tell You Which Unhinged Host City You Truly Belong In
Pack your knockoff jersey, your dodgy drum, and your emotional support neck pillow — we’re booking the most over-the-top football fan pilgrimage imaginable. Answer these questions and we’ll match your chaotic supporter energy to a World Cup city that’s just as unhinged as you are.
Jun 10
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