Peace Talks, Now With Extra Middleman: Islamabad’s Diplomatic Drive-Thru
Iran and the US can’t stand to be in the same panel, so they’re rerouting world security through Pakistan’s customer service desk.
“Relax, gentlemen — you both get what you want, as long as nobody admits it on camera.”
Source headline
Diplomatic Efforts Intensify as Iran and US Engage via Pakistan
Around the Shallot
Stay in the same broken universe.
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Tech
DOGE Unveils ‘War UX 2.0’: U.S.–Iran Conflict To Be Managed Like A Buggy App Update
Department of Government Efficiency reassures public that if the ceasefire can’t be fixed, it can at least be A/B tested, monetized, and pushed to the cloud.
Jul 13
Forecast
By Mid‑August 2026, Iran Will Reopen Hormuz Oil Traffic
Iran says the Strait of Hormuz is shut until the U.S. leaves the neighborhood. Tanker traffic and mediators say something more boring: this is a price‑setting tantrum that ends in a technical deal, not a 90‑day blockade.
Jul 12
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