The 60-Day Free Trial of ‘Not-Quite-Capitalism’
Trump pauses a century-old shipping protection racket for two months, then promises to slam the drawbridge shut again once prices calm down and everyone forgets how rigged it was.
Panel of oil execs and shipping lobbyists staring at a giant hourglass labeled “60-DAY JONES ACT WAIVER.” One exec whispers: “Relax—once the peasants get their cheap gas selfie, we switch the monopoly back on.”
Source headline
What is the Jones Act? Trump waives 100-year-old shipping law for 60 days amid Iran war
Around the Shallot
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Tech
DOGE Unveils ‘War UX 2.0’: U.S.–Iran Conflict To Be Managed Like A Buggy App Update
Department of Government Efficiency reassures public that if the ceasefire can’t be fixed, it can at least be A/B tested, monetized, and pushed to the cloud.
Jul 13
Forecast
By Mid‑August 2026, Iran Will Reopen Hormuz Oil Traffic
Iran says the Strait of Hormuz is shut until the U.S. leaves the neighborhood. Tanker traffic and mediators say something more boring: this is a price‑setting tantrum that ends in a technical deal, not a 90‑day blockade.
Jul 12
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