The Agentic Hunger Games
Salesforce and ZoomInfo turn Slack into a corporate panopticon… but with emojis.
“Relax, it’s not surveillance — it’s ‘agentic enablement.’ Now get back to being ‘seamlessly leveraged.’”
Source headline
ZoomInfo Announces Updates to ZoomInfo MCP on Salesforce's AgentExchange
Around the Shallot
Stay in the same broken universe.
Forecasts, satire, cartoons, and quizzes should feel like one publication, not disconnected tabs.
Tech
Nation Debates Whether Teens Or Mark Zuckerberg Get Last Glass Of Water
New AI data centers promise dozens of jobs, hundreds of millions in tax breaks, and one remaining trout in the river, if it survives the cooling cycle.
Aug 25
Forecast
By Early 2027, China Will Slash Iranian Oil Imports Below 400k bpd
Trump’s new sanctions blitz is aimed straight at Tehran’s last big customer. By early 2027, I expect China’s visible imports of Iranian crude to be materially lower than today and far below the pre-war binge, not because Trump defeats Iran, but because Beijing decides this fight is not worth a banking crisis.
Aug 25
Quiz
Build Your Dream ’90s Mall Car Show And We’ll Reveal Which Retro Ride You’d Smuggle Across The Border For Love
Roam a 1998 megamall stuffed with Neons, Civics, and suspiciously cheap Saturns while a wannabe–president-of-the-parking-lot mall cop slaps “50% tariffs” on your crush’s car. Build your chaotic cross-border car show — food court, mixtapes, fuzzy dice and all — and we’ll reveal the retro ride you’d absolutely risk customs for.
Aug 25
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