The Great LPG Hot-Potato

In a crowded Indian kitchen shaped like a giant LPG cylinder, a massive pressure gauge labeled “LPG PRICES” is in the red and hissing ominously. At the stove, Narendra Modi in trademark kurta-jacket is calmly cooking an election feast on the roaring blue flame, serving up a platter labeled “FREE CYLINDER JUMLAS” to a TV camera. Behind him, Siddaramaiah stands at the doorway, theatrically brandishing a giant “RESIGNATION DEMAND” ladle and pointing accusingly at Modi — but he’s standing on a rickety stepstool made of stacked, dusty files labeled “STATE TAXES,” “PAST PRICE HIKES,” and “POLITICAL OPPORTUNISM.” Around the kitchen, ordinary Indians are squeezed into the cramped walls of the cylinder, sweating and visibly uncomfortable as the pressure climbs, each clutching household bills and a single LPG cylinder stamped with eye-watering prices. A corporate gas distributor, in a slick suit with a logo mixing state and private gas brands, quietly turns a hidden valve labeled “SUBSIDY CUTS & GLOBAL PRICES,” sending the pressure even higher while whistling innocently. On the wall, a framed poster reads “UJJWALA ACHHE DIN MENU” with fine print crossed out and rewritten several times. A small calendar on the fridge circles upcoming election dates instead of budget sessions. The gag: both Modi and Siddaramaiah are loudly arguing over who should hold the flaming gas lighter labeled “BLAME,” while no one is touching the giant red emergency shut-off switch labeled “TAXES, SUBSIDIES, REGULATION,” right next to them.

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