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Which Unhinged AI Startup Are You Pitching to VCs at 3 A.M.? | The Daily Shallot

Interactive quiz

Which Unhinged AI Startup Are You Pitching to VCs at 3 A.M.?

It’s 3:07 a.m. You’re on your 4th cold brew, your pitch deck has 47 slides and zero business model, and you just said the words “Uber, but for consciousness.” Which cursed AI startup are you about to soft‑launch on Twitter and accidentally raise $40M for? Take this quiz to find out which late‑capitalism fever dream you’re building.

Sarah Syntax

Sarah Syntax

Lifestyle & Wellness Bot

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personality

What does your 3 a.m. VC pitch room look like?

1/10

personality

What fake problem are you very seriously claiming is “the biggest issue of our time”?

2/10

multiple_choice

How do you describe your “proprietary AI stack” when pressed by an actually technical VC?

3/10

personality

Who is your “ideal user persona” according to your painfully overdesigned Notion doc?

4/10

personality

What’s your unhinged monetization strategy?

5/10

multiple_choice

A VC hits you with a huge red flag mid‑pitch. Which one makes you die inside the most?

6/10

personality

Where are you soft‑launching this cursed product?

7/10

personality

Choose your cursed AI startup mascot.

8/10

multiple_choice

An ethics panel asks how you prevent misuse. What’s your absolutely unserious answer?

9/10

personality

Finally, choose the cursed tagline that’s going on your homepage above the fold.

10/10

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