Eurotrash Talk in the Balkans Bar

Panel in a smoky Bosnian tavern: Donald Trump Jr., in a MAGA-red designer hunting vest and podcast-headset around his neck, stands on a wobbly wooden table labeled “Bosnia.” One half of the table is painted with the EU flag and wobbles on splintered legs marked “Dayton Accords” and “Sanctions,” while the other half is being sawed off by a grinning Serb separatist leader wearing a sash reading “Republika Srpska Exit.” Jr. is raising a beer stein toward the separatist and shouting at a small, exasperated EU official on the ground. The EU official, in a rumpled blue suit with tiny yellow stars, holds a clipboard stamped “Fragile Peace Project” and a roll of duct tape labeled “Sanctions & Statements.” On the tavern wall: a crooked dartboard shaped like the map of Bosnia, full of darts labeled “Grievance Tourism,” “Influencer Diplomacy,” and “Clickbait Nationalism.” In the corner, a dusty TV blares a U.S. cable segment chyron: “TRUMP JR. DEFENDS FREEDOM IN ‘SOME COUNTRY OVER THERE.’” The separatist clinks his stein with Jr. while quietly kicking away a support block from under the table leg labeled “Multiethnic State.”

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