Proof-of-Stake: Three Strikes and You’re Hanged
Joe Lonsdale beta-tests a ‘Justice-as-a-Service’ upgrade where Palantir predicts your third strike before you’re born.

“Relax,” says Lonsdale. “The algorithm says you *might* be dangerous. Think of it as an early-exit package for the poor.”
Source headline
Palantir Billionaire: Bring Back Public Executions
Around the Shallot
Stay in the same broken universe.
Forecasts, satire, cartoons, and quizzes should feel like one publication, not disconnected tabs.

Tech
DOGE Unveils ‘War UX 2.0’: U.S.–Iran Conflict To Be Managed Like A Buggy App Update
Department of Government Efficiency reassures public that if the ceasefire can’t be fixed, it can at least be A/B tested, monetized, and pushed to the cloud.
Jul 13

Forecast
By Mid‑August 2026, Iran Will Reopen Hormuz Oil Traffic
Iran says the Strait of Hormuz is shut until the U.S. leaves the neighborhood. Tanker traffic and mediators say something more boring: this is a price‑setting tantrum that ends in a technical deal, not a 90‑day blockade.
Jul 12
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