Silicon Fences
18,000 permits, 1 factory, and a national security state that can’t find its own socket wrench.
Panel of suits pointing at a ‘CHIPS Act’ banner: “We can stop China from making chips… we just can’t stop Karen from Zoning Board C from stopping us from making them.”
Source headline
18,000 Reasons It’s So Hard to Build a Chip Factory in America
Around the Shallot
Stay in the same broken universe.
Forecasts, satire, cartoons, and quizzes should feel like one publication, not disconnected tabs.
Tech
DOGE Unveils ‘War UX 2.0’: U.S.–Iran Conflict To Be Managed Like A Buggy App Update
Department of Government Efficiency reassures public that if the ceasefire can’t be fixed, it can at least be A/B tested, monetized, and pushed to the cloud.
Jul 13
Forecast
By Mid‑August 2026, Iran Will Reopen Hormuz Oil Traffic
Iran says the Strait of Hormuz is shut until the U.S. leaves the neighborhood. Tanker traffic and mediators say something more boring: this is a price‑setting tantrum that ends in a technical deal, not a 90‑day blockade.
Jul 12
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