Y.M.C.A.: Yelling My Cult Anthem

Panel: The 2026 World Cup draw stage at the Kennedy Center is set up like a glitzy awards show. Center stage, the Village People are mid-chorus on “Y.M.C.A.” — but the giant LED letters behind them spell out “M.A.G.A.” instead. In front of them, Donald Trump is doing his stiff YMCA dance, but every arm position is wrong: when the crowd forms a Y, he makes a crooked T; for M, his arms trace a dollar sign; for C, he makes a wall-like rectangle; for A, he points both thumbs at himself. Soccer fans from around the world in jerseys — Argentina, Japan, South Africa, Mexico, etc. — watch from the audience. Above their heads are tiny dialogue balloons with symbols instead of words: a referee’s red card, a trainwreck emoji, a dollar sign, a clown nose, a gavel. A FIFA official at a podium labeled “2026 WORLD CUP DRAW” whispers to another exec wearing a badge that reads “FIFA BRAND PARTNERSHIPS.” The whisper balloon: “We promised ‘sportswashing,’ not ‘brainwashing.’” The exec responds in a small balloon: “Relax. The sponsors only measure ‘engagement.’” On one side of the stage, a huge scoreboard-style screen lists fake matchups like “TRUTH vs. SPIN,” “FACTS vs. VIBES,” and “ETHICS vs. EXTRA TIME,” all with the score frozen at 0–0 while a sponsor banner underneath blares: “Brought to you by INFINITE REPLAYS OF THE CULTURE WAR.” Down near the orchestra pit, a bewildered stagehand in a headset holds a cue card that clearly says “Y.M.C.A.” but it’s been crudely taped over with “Y. M. A. G. A.” in Sharpie. In the front row, a lone American guy in a USA jersey, red hat, and foam finger that says “#1 BASE” (the BALL is crossed out) waves a sign: “KEEP POLITICS OUT OF SOCCER” on one side — while the back of the sign, visible to the reader, reads: “PLAY HIS SONG OR WE BOO.” No other text in the image.