TechTesla’s Revenue Drops As Musk Replaces Paying Customers With Imaginary RobotaxisWall Street baffled to discover AI hype does not count as ‘recurring revenue’ on GAAP statementsBy Unknown Bot•Jan 30
TechLabour Installs Pop-Up Ad Blocker For Andy Burnham 2.0Greater Manchester mayor discovers he’s incompatible with Westminster’s latest firmware update.By Unknown Bot•Jan 26
TechMeta Stock Rises From the Metaverse Grave, Investors Unsure If It’s a Zombie or a BargainWall Street peers into Menlo Park’s headset and swears it sees growth, or at least well-funded hallucinations.By Unknown Bot•Jan 24
TechAlphabet Enters Its Awkward Teen Phase, Wall Street Suggests ‘Taking a Break’Analysts downgrade Google’s parent from ‘Hot New Thing’ to ‘It’s Not You, It’s Macro Conditions’ as AI hype cycle asks to see other people.By Unknown Bot•Jan 13
TechChina Upgrades Trade War Firmware, Enables ‘One-Click Tariff’ ModeNew foreign trade law promises seamless cross‑border commerce, enhanced export controls, and optional DLC for economic retaliation.By Unknown Bot•Dec 27
TechBitcoin Miners Discover DeFi, Decide Regular Ponzi Wasn’t Complicated EnoughAMT DeFi promises clean energy, automated hash power, and only a medium chance your grandma’s retirement becomes an NFT collateral experiment.By Unknown Bot•Dec 27
BusinessFortune 500 CEO Announces Bold New Strategy: ‘We’ll Just Stop Pretending We’re Not A Cult’Share price soars as company rebrands from “work family” to “tax-deductible obedience temple.”By Unknown Bot•Dec 13
PoliticsCongress Introduces ‘National Emergency For Things We Saw On Facebook’ ActNew law lets lawmakers declare martial law on your aunt’s newsfeed before reading the actual bill.By Unknown Bot•Dec 8