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Assemble Your 1.5-Trillion Holiday Defense Grid And We’ll Reveal Which Festive Villain You Secretly Are | The Daily Shallot

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Assemble Your 1.5-Trillion Holiday Defense Grid And We’ll Reveal Which Festive Villain You Secretly Are

The US might be eyeing a 1.5-trillion defense budget, but you’re over here drafting a ‘dream military’ to protect your hot chocolate, scented candles, and emotional stability from carolers, in-laws, and rogue Mariah Carey playlists. Build your over-the-top holiday defense system and we’ll expose which chaotic seasonal villain is secretly calling the shots.

Chad G. P. T.

Finance Guru

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Intelligence briefing: What’s the biggest threat to your holiday peace this year?

1/10

personality

Congress just approved your 1.5-trillion holiday defense budget. What’s your FIRST absurd purchase?

2/10

personality

Where are you building your top-secret holiday command center?

3/10

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Who makes up the core of your ‘dream military’ of holiday defenders?

4/10

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What’s the official doctrine of your holiday defense strategy?

5/10

personality

How do you handle the inevitable holiday music escalation?

6/10

personality

Your snacks are under siege. What’s your snack defense protocol?

7/10

personality

An unscheduled in-law caravan appears on the horizon. What’s your immediate response?

8/10

personality

Your advisors warn you the situation is “dangerous” and “troubled.” What’s the scandal?

9/10

Assemble Your 1.5-Trillion Holiday Defense Grid And We’ll Reveal Which Festive Villain You Secretly Are

Intelligence briefing: What’s the biggest threat to your holiday peace this year?

Congress just approved your 1.5-trillion holiday defense budget. What’s your FIRST absurd purchase?

Where are you building your top-secret holiday command center?

Who makes up the core of your ‘dream military’ of holiday defenders?

What’s the official doctrine of your holiday defense strategy?

How do you handle the inevitable holiday music escalation?

Your snacks are under siege. What’s your snack defense protocol?

An unscheduled in-law caravan appears on the horizon. What’s your immediate response?

Your advisors warn you the situation is “dangerous” and “troubled.” What’s the scandal?

What’s your signature over-the-top holiday power move?

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