Welcome to the Annual Friendship Budget Hearing, population: your messy little heart. Allocate emotional tax millage to besties, exes, work wives, and sketchy situationships, and we’ll reveal whether your group chat is a cozy support squad, a full Lake Okeechobee News city council meeting, or a filibuster waiting to happen.


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Around the Shallot
Forecasts, satire, cartoons, and quizzes should feel like one publication, not disconnected tabs.

Tech
Silicon Valley hails Trump’s plan to let AI companies write their own rules, promises to sell those rules back to everyone else by Q4.
Oct 11

Forecast
The Mecca Defense Pact just put two more flags on the Saudi firing chart. The consensus panic says this widens the war within weeks. The signal says the Houthis will talk big, hit Saudi and the sea, and leave Pakistan and Turkey’s hard targets alone for this 60 day window.
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Oct 11