Build Your Totally Unhinged Space Mission And We’ll Reveal Why NASA Keeps Dragging You Into Emergency Meetings

If you write it sarcastically, the universe will take the hint… right?

A prestige limited series, but it’s your flight plan.

One small bite for man, one giant buffet for mankind.

Sponsored by three streaming services and a hydration brand.

They keep asking where all the ashtrays went.

“We can’t abort now, the drop hasn’t hit.”

“Smash that like button if you want me to eat the mystery tube.”

Keeps saying “can we get the Moon to trend again?”

It will outlive the heat death of the universe.

The ISS will be finding cheese shrapnel for decades.

Tastes like productivity and regret.

Specifically designed to go viral when opened on camera.

The trajectory is now an infinity sign for no good reason.

Kubrick, but make it TikTok.

24/7 lunar pores.

You are here to make the nightmare powerpoint less scary.

Orbit spaghetti, coming right up.

If you can’t hear Mission Control, at least they can see your juggling.

You call it a crisis, I call it a cliffhanger.

You made everyone do a binder drill for this exact situation.

Morale is high, and also a little haunted.

A fun little anxiety mural for everyone.

Every surface is a potential sponcon moment.

There are arguments about whether pretzels are S‑tier.

You gamified anxiety.

Multitasking, but make it terrifying.

Winner gets naming rights to the most cursed ration.

Is this helpful? Emotionally, yes.

You can feel the PR team aging.

Somewhere, a dietitian screams.

The engineers nod in grim agreement.

You just accidentally sold out ten documentaries.

You did it for the graph.

“We thought the beeping was part of the remix.”

Control room audio now includes crunching.

“Did… did the Moon just break the internet?”

They were going to yell, but now they’re taking notes.