Welcome to your new job: running the most unhinged apartment building in Tulsa. You’re balancing a sentient elevator, a rooftop goose sanctuary, and ghost tenants who demand better Wi‑Fi. Choose your amenities, set your cursed policies, and we’ll reveal what flavor of nightmare landlord you truly are.
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Around the Shallot
Forecasts, satire, cartoons, and quizzes should feel like one publication, not disconnected tabs.

Tech
Prediction markets face crackdown just as Wall Street, bookies, and AI models quietly adopt them as a premium feature.
May 27

Forecast
Washington and Tehran are trading blows in public while haggling in private. The loud part is moving toward Iran’s shores and shipping lanes. The quiet part is every regional capital begging them not to touch the real money: Gulf energy exports and Iran’s nuclear sites.
May 27
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