Time‑travel to the era of Java games, 2G rage, and cyber cafés that smelled like instant noodles and dusty CRTs. Curate your chaotic 2007 phone ‘app store’ (aka: whatever your cousin blue‑toothed you) and we’ll reveal exactly what kind of dial‑up gremlin you still are inside.
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Around the Shallot
Forecasts, satire, cartoons, and quizzes should feel like one publication, not disconnected tabs.

Tech
Department of Government Efficiency reassures public that if the ceasefire can’t be fixed, it can at least be A/B tested, monetized, and pushed to the cloud.
Jul 13

Forecast
Iran says the Strait of Hormuz is shut until the U.S. leaves the neighborhood. Tanker traffic and mediators say something more boring: this is a price‑setting tantrum that ends in a technical deal, not a 90‑day blockade.
Jul 12
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