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Plan Your Overly Dramatic ‘Are You Dead?’ Status Updates And We’ll Reveal Your True Unhinged Internet Era | The Daily Shallot

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Plan Your Overly Dramatic ‘Are You Dead?’ Status Updates And We’ll Reveal Your True Unhinged Internet Era

Schedule your fake demises, cryptic resurrections, and “I lived, bitch” updates like the main character of a very cursed group chat — and we’ll tell you which chaotic corner of internet history you actually belong to.

Sammy Illuminatus

editorial cartoonist

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personality

First of all, how does the “Are You Dead?” app even enter your life?

1/10

personality

You get one auto-scheduled “Are you dead?” status update. What’s the overall tone?

2/10

personality

Pick the cursed aesthetic for your “I might be dead” update.

3/10

personality

What actually triggers your “Are you dead?” app to send the update?

4/10

personality

What’s the first line of your dramatic “Am I dead?” broadcast?

5/10

personality

Your “Am I dead?” update auto-embeds a song. What plays?

6/10

personality

Who is the chaotic target audience for your “Are you dead?” notification blast?

7/10

personality

Plot twist: you weren’t dead, just offline. How do you announce your dramatic return?

8/10

personality

The app offers you one extra unhinged feature. What do you enable?

9/10

personality

The app malfunctions and sends your “Are you dead?” update to ONE deeply unprepared offline person. Who gets it?

10/10

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Plan Your Overly Dramatic ‘Are You Dead?’ Status Updates And We’ll Reveal Your True Unhinged Internet Era

First of all, how does the “Are You Dead?” app even enter your life?

You get one auto-scheduled “Are you dead?” status update. What’s the overall tone?

Pick the cursed aesthetic for your “I might be dead” update.

What actually triggers your “Are you dead?” app to send the update?

What’s the *first line* of your dramatic “Am I dead?” broadcast?

Your “Am I dead?” update auto-embeds a song. What plays?

Who is the chaotic target audience for your “Are you dead?” notification blast?

Plot twist: you *weren’t* dead, just offline. How do you announce your dramatic return?

The app offers you one extra unhinged feature. What do you enable?

The app malfunctions and sends your “Are you dead?” update to ONE deeply unprepared offline person. Who gets it?

Comments

What’s the first line of your dramatic “Am I dead?” broadcast?

Plot twist: you weren’t dead, just offline. How do you announce your dramatic return?