Tear open that warped CD tower, dust off the glitter gel pens, and crack open your secret lyric binder — we’re about to scientifically determine which unhinged early‑2000s fandom you were low‑key president of. No, this won’t be on the SAT, but it SHOULD be.


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Around the Shallot
Forecasts, satire, cartoons, and quizzes should feel like one publication, not disconnected tabs.

Tech
Silicon Valley hails Trump’s plan to let AI companies write their own rules, promises to sell those rules back to everyone else by Q4.
Oct 11

Forecast
The Mecca Defense Pact just put two more flags on the Saudi firing chart. The consensus panic says this widens the war within weeks. The signal says the Houthis will talk big, hit Saudi and the sea, and leave Pakistan and Turkey’s hard targets alone for this 60 day window.
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Oct 11