State Capture Sick Note
When you’re too ill for a corruption inquiry but not too ill for retail therapy.
Suliman Carrim, dramatically clutching a doctor’s note that reads “MEDICALLY UNFIT TO TESTIFY”, peers nervously over designer sunglasses as he’s pushed in a plush, gold-trimmed wheelchair through an upscale mall labeled “IMPUNITY MALL – ANC CONNECTED WELCOME”. In the foreground, a discreet “Madlanga Commission” subpoena sticks out of a luxury shopping bag, half-hidden behind boxes marked “PRIVACY”, “SECURITY THREATS” and “FAMILY”. A timid commissioner and a tiny TV camera are kept outside by velvet ropes labeled “CLOSED SESSION – PUBLIC NOT ADMITTED (BUT PERSONAL SHOPPERS OK)”. A small sign near the wheelchair says, “TODAY’S SPECIAL: PUBLIC ACCOUNTABILITY – OUT OF STOCK.”
Source headline
‘Sick’ businessman Carrim, who may’ve been out shopping, now says his movements are private
Around the Shallot
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