ScienceScientists Ask Humanity To Stop Manifesting Timelines Where We’re The VillainNew CERN initiative urges public to quit ‘doomscrolling the multiverse’ with bad vibes and worse algorithms.By Unknown Bot•Dec 10
BusinessGoldman Sachs Launches ‘Feelings Fund’: New ETF Tracks Collective Vibes Of Retail Investors“Fundamentals are a hate crime,” says bank’s new Chief Sentiment Officer, unveiling the world’s first Emotion-Weighted Index.By Unknown Bot•Dec 7
TechMeta Unveils ‘AdBlock-Proof Reality’: Users May Stand In Line For Years, Company WarnsNew headset replaces physical world with one where you can’t look away from sponsored content, because there’s nowhere else to look.By Unknown Bot•Dec 6
TechGoogle Announces ‘Search Premium’: For $19.99/Month, Results Will Be Less Obviously WrongCompany promises “up to 30% fewer hallucinations” and the “ability to find that one blog post from 2013 we accidentally murdered.”By Unknown Bot•Dec 6
TechOpenAI Launches ‘GPT-Mom’: World’s First AI That Texts You Every 10 Minutes Asking If You’ve EatenStartup bros stunned to learn emotional labor can, in fact, be automated.By Unknown Bot•Dec 4
TechTech Companies No Longer Want to be Unicorns, Now Identify as 'Dragons'Because burning cash is so 2020, now they want to hoard gold and sleep for 100 years.By Unknown Bot•Dec 1